Children did this yesterday…So they should be able to do it today, right?

Now of course we have developmental milestones that we are helping children reach so in some sense there is a certain amount of “a child should be able to….” But what I am referring to is an attitude where you are requiring a child to complete a tasks without any other considerations.

Children do not live in black and white, they are human beings, like us all, and we all live in a certain amount of “grey”. What we are able to do one day may look completely different the next day and the same goes for children.

Maybe yesterday you were able to easily run 4 miles during your workout, but today, because of a bad night’s sleep you can only manage 3 miles. And that is OK!! Give yourself a break and give children a break. Maybe yesterday they cleaned up their plate and cup with no problem, but today they are resisting. Maybe they had a bad night’s sleep too and the constant demands and requirements we have asked of them have become too much.

It’s ok to say, “I know you are capable of doing this, but it seems like you are really struggling right now so today I am going to help you.”

So before making that decision to really force children to do a certain task when they are resistant take a step back and decide if the battle is going to be worth it or if this is something you can give a little today without any serious or long term detriment to the child’s development.

Sometimes all a child needs is a nap to re-set their day

Learning and Development look like this:

Not This:

Allow children to have a bad day:

When we take that step back, pause, and reflect on a moment of resistance from a child and realize it is coming from a place of real struggle remember to put on your “compassion hat” and give them a hug.

Letting children know it is ok for them to have an “off” day helps build their social and emotional skills. They will feel more secure and confident in themselves if they know they will still be accepted and loved even if they don’t do everything right. Knowing that they have a safe person to turn too when their emotions or basic needs just get too much shows them they are part of a caring community.

Think about what kind of support you would like when you are having a bad day and be that person for that child!